She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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