Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it hurts more in the daytime
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
