Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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