Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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