Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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