Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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