You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
