i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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