His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
