you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
