Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
