is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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