did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
