My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
