Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
