Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
