can u get pink eye on your cock?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
