How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
