all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
