Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
