whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
