Fuck appropriateness.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
