so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
