Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
