is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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