Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
