whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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