I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
