I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
