I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
