Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
