I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
operation harelip BJ is a go
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
