Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
