You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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