In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
