don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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