Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
