you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
