Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
