you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
