party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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