I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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