Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
