He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
MIDGETS
????
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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