better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
