Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
