I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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