Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
