Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
