Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
