a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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