Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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