sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
