A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
