you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
