Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
