when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
